April

I know what I don't like about the shot, but I wonder if it really matters.


Ooops deleted the original, this is a frame I like better.

Here is what I don't like about it (like anyone cares.) The main light was positioned at too great an angle which has left that little shadow around her left eye.  Also it was not feathered so it has blasted rather than kissed the side of her face and her nose.  I feel that including both hands and one knee is just too much other stuff going on in this shot.  Simplicity is usually best in portraiture.

Benji

Ok, here is my critique.  And yes, some of it is similar to Benji's but I will give my reasons.

The light is too harsh and too high.  I would have probably moved it to the other side to short light her.  This would bring more light into her eyes and flatter her nose better.  I have made this same mistake trying to broad light women with slim faces.  I have learned to usually short light but move your light a little more centered to almost get a butterfly light, but not quite.

The light is too harsh, are you using a modifier?  I would feather it next time.  However, you don't always need soft light.  I think harder light does work on portraits, and this model can pull that off.  I think bringing your light more centered like I mentioned above and feathering will make it so you don't have underexposed areas and overexposed areas.  It will even it out.

The pose is alright.  You didn't have her rest her chin on her hand in an unflattering way - good.  However, like Benji said, there is a lot going on in the bottom left corner so that is where my eye goes. 
All I think you needed to do was drop her left hand down to her side and maybe push her shoulder toward her chin (a la old time Hollywood starlets) which would help conceal the neck creases.

Also the image is a touch red on my screen.

With all that being said I hope you don't feel like I ripped your image apart too much, I think you know what you do well and these little refinements will really put your images over the edge.