Stephanie

In this image the subjects head needs to be tilted toward the background.  The lighting on the face is not even- there is a hot spot on the forehead and the nose and the chin/jaw line is dark.  I don't know what type of lighting unit you used as your main but if it is a parabolic reflector in needs to be feathered to even things out or barn doored to gobo the forehead.  At that angle of incidence, even umbrellas and soft boxes can appear quite strong and need to be adjusted carefully to create smooth lighting. 

Sometimes it is a good idea to include the hands in a profile like this to fill in the weak chin line and to gave base or balance to the subject.

A loop light or a Rembrandt pattern will work if the light is balanced correctly.  Sometimes I use a rim light AND a Rembrandt light to accentuate a strong profile and the second unit is a form fill which wraps around the subject to create a smoother yet still dramatic lighting.

Good try!

By the way- this section of the forum is intended for critique- you are not imposing on anyone by posting as often as you want.  I get disappointed when there is not enough images to work on.  Ed